Hidden
Variables in the Ladder
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The
Ladder Theory is assumed to be correct for all classical phenomena.
There do seem to be some "hidden" variables that modify
the Ladder to some extent. These variables do not affect the rating
system, nor do they affect the fundamental theorems of the Ladder.
They do, however, modify how we act with regard to the Ladder.
These are the hidden variables that have been identified.
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Religiosity:
While most people, even people who believe in God, will have sex before
they are married and thus fall under the rules of the ladder, some people
are so religious they will not have sex until they are married. This
is of course a silly and anachronistic practice, but it does occur.
In this case, the Ladder should me modified as follows: change instances
of 'would have sex with' to be 'would like to have sex with.' This works
because while religious people have the same impulses, they choose to
deny them as opposed to embracing them.
Drunkenness:
Of course when drunk we do things we wouldn't do otherwise. Usually
when sobriety sets in, there is a return to the tenets of the ladder
theory. In most cases, it should be noted, repressed Americans use being
drunk as an excuse to do what they wanted to do anyway, so one should
be very careful in applying this variable. For example, I'm drunk as
I type this, but I would have typed it anyway, even though I might fall
back on that excuse if there are a lot of typos in there or it doens't
stand up to peer review. Do not let me get away with this.
Loyalty:
A lot of people have asked about the significant others of friends and
if they are special cases of the Ladder. They are not. These are not
your friends. These are virtual friends. For example, a friend of mine
is fucking a girl. I like her, she's great, we get along, etc... But
when they break up she is dead to me. Or if the friend leaves the picture
the normal rules of the Ladder apply. So are we really friends? Of course
not. We are conditional friends. This does not affect where she goes
on the Ladder. Think of it like this: the Ladder is a rating system,
and I'll rate her along with everyone else based on how much I would
like to fuck them. A note for guys: if your friends girl offers you
a piece you should hit that shit, because he shouldn't be laying up
with no ho. Ideally you should tape it also, because most guys will
believe the person they're fucking.
Desperation:
What desperation does is shift downward the line of quality that one
would consider for fucking. There is a line on the ladder that is the
quality of the last person you were fucking. Since one of the purposes
of life, if not the purpose, is to move up the ladder, you want someone
above this line. Sometimes you can't find someone above this line. This
leads to a virtual shift in the line downward as one gets more and more
in need of a fuck. But in terms of what a person wants, nothing changes
-- you'd leave your desperation fuck for someone else with the requisite
ladder attributes.
Hidden Variables and Sanity:
Note that all known hidden variables are indicative of an altered consciousness
of some kind. At the 'limit of sanity' the Classical ladder's rating
system still applies. So I don't feel that these change the core theory,
but explain times when the theory is not able to be applied because
your perception is wrong.
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